December 5 -- Krampusnacht

It's hard to pick a favorite of all the holidays we will be celebrating this month, but Krampusnacht has got to be in the running for first place. Based on the German-speaking Alpine folklore of a horned beast who shows up the night before Saint Nicholas day to punish all the children who have misbehaved, Krampus is portrayed as a frightening devil-beast that looks somewhat like a man-goat with horns, a creepy long tongue, and one human foot, one hoof. Considered by some to be the shadow of Saint Nick, who rewards good kids with treats and gifts, at his most merciful Krampus leaves the naughty children lumps of coal. But the really misbehaved kids will earn an all expense paid trip to hell in his burlap sack or wicker basket that he carries on his back, possibly after receiving a lashing from his willow switch.

Move over Elf on the Shelf. Krampus is way more effective at scaring children straight. Tattle on you to Santa? Please. How about I cart you off to hell?!

Some communities celebrate Krampusnacht with a wild run throughout the town, called Krampuslauf. Celebrants dress as the wicked beast and perhaps enjoy a traditional Krampus schnapps, a strong distilled fruit brandy. The female counterpart to Krampus, called perchten, is actually based on wild pagan spirits of German folklore more commonly associated with the period of time between the winter solstice and January 6. 

A quick Google search for Krampuskarten

Another way to celebrate is by sending Krampuskarten instead of Christmas cards, a holiday tradition dating back to the 1800s. Introduced with the greeting "Gruss vom Krampus", the cards usually feature a humorous poem or rhyme.
In most of them, Krampus is pictured looming menacingly over children, threatening them with his chains and switch, or alternatively with the children peeking out of the sack on his back. In some, there is a sexual overtone, with Krampus pursuing buxom women. Older style cards will have a scarier looking figure, while some of the new ones feature a cuter, more comical version of the beast. 

We can't talk about Krampusnacht without mentioning the new movie "Krampus". We saw it on opening night, December 3. Starring comedy actors Adam Scott, David Koechner, and Conchata Ferrell, we didn't quite know what to expect. Judging from the trailers, I thought it would be a creepy, atmospheric piece introducing the scary legend to the masses. I was wrong. I found myself laughing, eyes wide, and asking myself, "Did that really just happen?" If you go into it thinking "Gremlins", you will leave satisfied. The comedy actors weren't even the funniest parts so much as the weird antagonists were. I was a little disappointed at first because so few people know about Krampusnacht and it's a shame because it is such a fun and strange holiday, so I wanted a serious and accurate portrayal of the traditional folklore story. But, when I think about it, that movie was hysterical and as my husband said, "It is bound to be a cult classic by next year." I think he's right. The best part was: just when you think the writers are going to "jump the shark", they pull the rug out from under you like, "Nope!" and you're left clapping in maniacal glee if you're a sick, messed up person like us.

At any rate, you can celebrate Krampus in your house by telling your kids frightening stories about the devil-beast and how he punishes bad children. Instead of threatening to tell Santa when they are misbehaving, you can threaten to tell Krampus -- way scarier! Fashion a pair of goat-like horns out of papier-mache, throw a burlap sack over your back, drape a chain over your arms, and grab some willow switches, then chase the children of your neighborhood around menacingly. 

It was a perfectly creepy Krampusnacht where we live, with the fog creeping in and freezing ice crystals onto the Rudolph antlers and nose on my car. At one point, as I was driving home from my late shift at work, I thought there had been a power outage in town because the fog was so thick it was blocking all light, even from the stoplights, until I was merely yards away. 

Our neighbor's house through the fog as I stopped at a stop sign driving home. 

We celebrated by threatening our cat, Osiris, who likes to knock the stockings off the wall (sometimes leaving his own hanging, the little bugger). At first he thought his dad was just joking and just laid on the ledge but when he realized he wasn't, he was like, "Aw heck no," and walked away. (No animals were harmed in the making of this photo. He wasn't even really scared, just irritated, which is his normal mental state anyway.)

You can see the pile of stockings at the bottom of the stairs in the top-left. 

If you have celebrated Krampusnacht before, we would love to hear about it in the comments below. Or if you plan to celebrate it next year, or even have a belated celebration this year, let us know what you are planning.